Power Tankings, Vol 13: Royal Rumble
Since the Royal Rumble happened we’re gonna go wrestling themed for this power tankings since the Royal Rumble sucked to high hell (more on that later this week). Find out which active Wrestler, Tag Team or Faction your team is below:
1. Montreal
Record: 8–29–7, 43.65% Score/Venue Adjusted Expected Goals For%, 44.99% Score/Venue Adjusted Corsi For%, -74 True Goal Differential
Brian Pillman Jr: Someone thought he was good and it turns out he isn’t.
2. Arizona
Record: 10–29–4, 43.67% Adj. xGF%, 43.3% % Adj. CF%, -65 True Goal Differential
The Factory: Sucks copious amounts of ass
3. Philadelphia
Record: 14–22–8, 44.74% Adj. xGF%, 46.6% % Adj. CF%, -37 True Goal Differential
Shawn Spears: fails to look threatening but instead ends up looking hilarious
4. New Jersey
Record: 15–23–5, 49.71% Adj. xGF%, 49.95% % Adj. CF%, -26 True Goal Differential
Daniel Garcia: An up and coming superstar (Jack Hughes) tearing shit up in losing efforts while a bunch of jobbers yell at people asking if they want a taste in the background.
5. Buffalo
Record: 14–23–7, 44.32% Adj. xGF%, 45.81% % Adj. CF%, -38 True Goal Differential
RETRIBUTION: technically not active but they sucked so much ass, just like the Sabres
6. Ottawa
Record: 13–21–4, 46.84% Adj. xGF%, 46.62% % Adj. CF%, -24 True Goal Differential
The Acclaimed: Entertaining, talented, lots of potential, just never winning.
7. Seattle
Record: 14–26–4, 47.65% Adj. xGF%, 48.34% % Adj. CF%, -40 True Goal Differential
AHFO: Matt Hardy’s army of tag teams has underwhelmed, just like the Kraken have in their first season.
8. Columbus
Record: 20–21–1, 44.5% Adj. xGF%, 47.08% % Adj. CF%, -21 True Goal Differential
A good chunk of the wrestlers from NXT 2.0: Not particularly great and haven’t given us a reason to care about them yet.
9. Chicago
Record: 16–21–7, 46.43% Adj. xGF%, 45.94% % Adj. CF%, -39 True Goal Differential
Ronda Rousey: No one wants them here.
10. Detroit
Record: 19–20–6, 47.02% Adj. xGF%, 45.52% % Adj. CF%, -31 True Goal Differential
Sting: Great back in the day, hasn’t done much lately but has been entertaining in spite of his limitations.
11. San Jose
Record: 22–20–3, 49.16% Adj. xGF%, 46.52% % Adj. CF%, -15 True Goal Differential
Bron Breakker: Extremely talented guy covered in a mountain of shit, kinda like the situation Timo Meier is in with NXT 2.0 being ass
12. Winnipeg
Record: 18–16–7, 49.26% Adj. xGF%, 51.48% % Adj. CF%, -3 True Goal Differential
Johnny Gargano: Great at his peak but got stale real quick and needed a change, just like Winnipeg needed with Maurice and Cheveldayoff.
13. New York Islanders
Record: 15–16–6, 49.28% Adj. xGF%, 46.84% % Adj. CF%, -10 True Goal Differential
Randy Orton: Extremely successful but also extremely boring.
14. Vancouver
Record: 19–19–6, 49.11% Adj. xGF%, 49.43% % Adj. CF%, -11 True Goal Differential
Sammy Guevara: all the tools to be successful, just never really finding that next level
15. Dallas
Record: 23–17–2, 50.65% Adj. xGF%, 49.58% % Adj. CF%, -2 True Goal Differential
Roderick Strong: Solid wrestler who’s selling point is his workrate but adds little else. Dallas has some guys worth watching (Robertson, Hintz, Heiskanen) but everyone else is washed or ass
16. Edmonton
Record: 22–16–2, 50.44% Adj. xGF%, 51.79% % Adj. CF%, Even True Goal Differential
Mustafa Ali: Like McDavid and Draisaitl, Ali is held back by a ghoul who’s work peaked in the late 90s.
17. Los Angeles
Record: 23–16–7, 51.84% Adj. xGF%, 53.85% % Adj. CF%, +4 True Goal Differential
Sheamus: Won a lot between 2012 and 2014 and has just kinda been a guy ever since.
18. Anaheim
Record: 23–16–8, 48.34% Adj. xGF%, 48.56% % Adj. CF%, +6 True Goal Differential
Josh Alexander: Fantastic wrestler doing cool things for a bland promotion, like Trevor Zegras doing cool things for an extremely forgettable promotion
19. Calgary
Record: 23–13–6, 56.39% Adj. xGF%, 56.61% % Adj. CF%, +27 True Goal Differential
Sami Zayn: Extremely over and does everything he can to make it work, but just can’t seem to get the boss’ approval to give him a big run. Kinda like how Treliving backed out of deals for Stone and Eichel.
20. St. Louis
Record: 26–13–5, 46.76% Adj. xGF%, 47.81% % Adj. CF%, +32 True Goal Differential
Matt Cardona: Took a long time to get a chance, shot his shot and is now the most hated man in pro wrestling, just like how most fans in the west hate the Blues.
21. New York Rangers
Record: 29–13–4, 46.33% Adj. xGF%, 44.59% % Adj. CF%, +18 True Goal Differential
Roman Reigns: Successful, loved by New York, extremely important, but also not really cared much about by people outside of the New York territory.
22. Nashville
Record: 27–14–4, 52.1% Adj. xGF%, 50.79% % Adj. CF%, +18 True Goal Differential
Billy Ass and The Ass Boys: No one wanted to care about them but they’re here.
23. Vegas
Record: 26–16–3, 51.91% Adj. xGF%, 52.57% % Adj. CF%, +15 True Goal Differential
Kevin Owens: a lot of success early in his New York run, but not much to show for as of late despite clearly being one of the best wrestlers in the company (and arguably the entire business)
24. Washington
Record: 24–12–9, 52.61% Adj. xGF%, 52.45% % Adj. CF%, +23 True Goal Differential
Penta El Zero Miedo: I could’ve done Death Triangle but I don’t think Washington has a Rey Fenix equivalent. So I’ll stick with Penta since Alex Ovechkin is an extremely cool motherfucker like Penta.
25. Boston
Record: 25–14–3, 56.13% Adj. xGF%, 53.82% % Adj. CF%, +10 True Goal Differential
Bullet Club: Iconic faction living off prior reputation and just kinda existing and being like “hey we’re Bullet Club”.
26. Minnesota
Record: 27–10–3, 52.26% Adj. xGF%, 51.71% % Adj. CF%, +35 True Goal Differential
Kings of the Black Throne: Extremely cool newcomers that everyone loves
27. Pittsburgh
Record: 27–11–7, 54.99% Adj. xGF%, 53.4% % Adj. CF%, +34 True Goal Differential
Brock Lesnar: Never seems to go away and gets more Canadian for some reason
28. Tampa Bay
Record: 29–10–6, 53.81% Adj. xGF%, 52.31 % Adj. CF%, +28 True Goal Differential
The Elite: a faction that took wrestling out of the sports entertainment doldrums just like the Lightning have had a hand in the decline of heavy hockey. Also both currently in Florida at the moment.
29. Carolina
Record: 31–9–2, 54.46% Adj. xGF%, 56.35% % Adj. CF%, +48 True Goal Differential
United Empire: A faction of talented wrestlers with one guy no one wants around (although UE has two since TJP is part of that faction along with Will Ospreay, the Canes only have DeAngelo).
30. Toronto
Record: 27–10–3, 55.74% Adj. xGF%, 54.02% % Adj. CF%, +32 True Goal Differential
MJF: talented, irritating, rich and wins a lot but has yet to win when it matters.
31. Florida
Record: 31–9–5, 55.3% Adj. xGF%, 56.54% % Adj. CF%, +55 True Goal Differential
Best Friends: Extremely over, extremely fun, just nothing to show for it.
32. Colorado
Record: 32–8–3, 53.28% Adj. xGF%, 54.02% % Adj. CF%, +52 True Goal Differential
Eddie Kingston: captivating performer that’s caught everyone’s attention but has yet to capture the gold, just like Colorado has yet to win the cup with their current core.
Stats via Evolving-Hockey.com
